Do stereotypes know that they’re stereotypes? Surely not. Because I don’t know what stereotype I am but must be one. Maybe my category of person isn’t big enough to be a stereotype but then what box do I put myself in and are the people in there nice? Would I enjoy hanging out with those people? Or would I drive myself insane? Would this encourage me to change? Or incite a perpetual inner hatred that I will pass on to my offspring?
Salads:
Veggie curry
Coconut rice
Roast pepper + tomato pasta
Croutoned bake with mushroom + spinach
Soup: Something green
I started the day so well but now procrastination has taken it’s place at the helm. My important deeds are done which means the spaced out devil will only shaft my own plans. You know when you have a long list is small, tedious tasks? I will wait for the rush to come and go then refuse to leave my desk until I ticked those ‘to do's’ in the tushy!
Salads:
Braised chickpeas
Rainbow rice
Mushroom ragu pasta
Soup: Red lentil + carrot
I really enjoyed working the counter yesterday, mainly because I got to exercise my unconventional customer service skills. You might think me rude when I don’t laugh at your uninventive joke but it’s necessary for me to do this. The deli is delicious and good value therefor there is a high chance you will return, I can’t subject myself to your poor banter for the foreseeable future.
Salads:
Thai spiced sweet potato + chickpea
Edamame + crispy shallot rice
Sausage + ham pasta
Soup: Carrot + dill
Sandwich: Mortadella, Smoked mozzarella, Jalapeno relish + tomato
It’s been an idyllic little deli morning. It’s been so chilled and enjoyable, the perfect way to start the week. I will be working the counter for the next couple days. I’ve had some entertaining painful customers waltz through those doors, if you look closely you’ll see me shooting daggers. Mask my grievances with the ‘English smile’.
Salads
Lentils cacciatore
Spinach + herb rice
Roast squash ragu pasta
Chickpea + paneer curry
Soup: Broccoli, chilli + garlic
Sandwich: Garlic salami, Fontina cheese, Chilli relish + tomato
It’s strange, some weeks my brain allows me to live a relatively happy life where I don’t think about the atrocities that take place every minute of everyday, here and around the world. Other weeks I can’t even make a cup of tea without thinking about the British colonialist past and the seasonless nation this country once was (arguably still is) and yet they belittle and bastardise the cultures that brought them colour when they were drowning in greyscale.
Salads:
Thai coconut curry
Spring onion + soy rice
Tomato, basil + french bean pasta
Soup: Pea + miso
I try hard to be a law abiding citizen but the services allotted to law abiding citizens are unsatisfactory and they account too much for the lower common denominator. So sometimes one must commit petty crimes to get what one wants. What petty crime comes to mind? I’m not robbing your nan for her jewellery, don’t worry Gwendolyn
Salads:
Thai coconut curry
Kimchi rice
Artichoke, tomato + parsley pasta
Soup: Spinach, ginger + turmeric
Sandwich: Fennel salami, Provola cheese, Chilli relish + tomato
So we’ll have to endure another 4 years of the orange man on the other side of the Atlantic, big woop. Look at our government, it’s not much better. The trouble with the left is that it’s constantly evolving for better and for worse but it provides an uncertainty that many can’t get on board with. Conservatism on the other hand, hasn’t changed its tradition and values since partying began. And it’s genius too. Values and traditions that benefit the few and convince the rest that they too one day be able to sit with the twats of the round table.
Salads:
Black lentil + roasted cauliflower
Ginger + turmeric rice
Sausage + ham pasta
Soup: Roast squash + ginger
I am aware that there was no blog yesterday. I had only one thing I wanted to write about and I couldn’t find the way to word it. I will speak in tongues… you all live on one of the most expensive roads in Clapham each house boasting ample gardens. Shutting down the road so your children can play on gravel is a joke. Meanwhile the kids that live on the council estate are told they can’t play ball on the small amount of grass that they’re allotted. You use the council as a plaything.
Salads:
Med veg chickpea
Lemon + parsley rice
Smokey aubergine + tomato pasta
Chilli CON carne
Soup: Indian spiced cauliflower + potato
Sandwich: Chorizo, Chilli pecorino, Jalapeno relish + tomato
I’ll be honest I don’t want to be here. I want to be at home. I’ve done the fun part, catching up with the people, finding out what’s on the agenda for the weekend. Now I have to work the Friday lunch shift with Mad and it is sure to drive me insane. If you see me looking displeased in the corner it’s because I am.
Salads:
Mexican beans
Sweet chilli + chive rice
Sausage + ham pasta
Soup: Tuscan tomato
Sandwich: Speck ham, Fontina cheese, Spicy peach relish + tomato
I had one of the funniest dinners of my life yesterday, if you haven’t been I suggest you try Caminata in Balham, top notch nosh. The deli dog is feeling better today and the overall vibe in the deli is immaculate. So good infact that when a nemesis of mine came in their venom has no effect on me. Hazar!
Salads:
Moroccan spiced lentils
Leek and dill rice
Mushroom ragu pasta
Soup: Indian spiced spinach + potato
What an interesting morning filled with fun characters and gripping conversation. Wrong day for it as we are really up against it but what am I suppose to do? Tell my custom to be less entertaining? No chance! I’ve really been enjoying doing the prep this week, it’s been so peaceful in my head but the life that surrounds me has been more chaotic than usual.
Salads:
Chickpea + aubergine
Lemon + herb rice
Leek, black olive + tomato pasta
Soup: Sweet potato + ginger
Sandwich: Parma ham, Manchego, Spicy peach relish + tomato
Much better day today, until that thing happened that i’m not allowed to talk about or even acknowledge. Anyway…today will be fine, everything is fine.
Salads:
Braised white beans
Spinach + herb rice
Sausage + ham pasta
Soup: Sweetcorn, ginger + chilli
The weekend was great and it’s been a quiet morning. We’ve still managed to be frequented by some of the stereotypes of Clapham that we all love to hate. I am perplexed how some parents allow their children to operate, you have to live with that, and that thing would just rain misery on my life. But each to their own…Thank God.
Salads:
Beetroot goulash
Red pepper rice
Broccoli, chilli + garlic pasta
Croutoned carrot + chickpea salad with dill + pecorino dressing
Soup: Tomato + basil
I have to make some changes in my life that I don’t want to but I have to, as if life doesn’t suck enough already. It’s been so busy this morning I already feel like i’ve put in a whole shift but I still have a solid 8 hours left which of course i’m trying not to think about. Here’s to the freakin weekend.
Salads:
Sriracha roasted sweet potato + chickpea
Rainbow rice
Mushroom + tomato pasta
Sandwich: Spicy salami, Gorgonzola, Caramelised onion relish + tomato
I have happily let the day run away from me because I was enjoying my morning. My heart is filled with fuzzy feelings that’ll soon be squashed by the general population. Joking I am, but I do find whenever I’m in a good mood (which is a rarity as we all know) I get extra angry when someone soils it. Not only are you repugnant but you’ve drawn me away from an infrequent happy place. Hence the added rage.
Salads:
Five spiced veg + black beans
Kimchi rice
Sausage + ham pasta
Soup: Squash + rosemary
Sandwich: Chorizo, Pecorino cheese, Spicy peach relish + tomato
I had a strange day yesterday. I couldn’t chill, my brain was just going on and on, words were constantly leaving my mouth. I genuinely pissed myself off. I will try and not get side tracked today, I will stay on my quiet path and remain composed.
Salads
Black lentil curry
Edamame + crispy shallot rice
Tomato + french bean pasta
Braised veg + halloumi
Soup: Potato, cauliflower + hint of turmeric
I used to play sous to the chef, I would stand in the corner, prep veg and my mind would wonder. I would create these fantasy worlds in my head while I butchered the broccoli, some of the sagas still continue to this day. Inevitably, as I grow older, new trains of thoughts start, these ones have more adult themes and truth be told, they suck. If I prep for too long there’s the possibility of a derailing.
Salads:
Med veg chickpeas
Spinach + herb rice
Roast squash + rosemary pasta
Roast vegetable salad with goats cheese dressing
Sandwich: Speck ham, Chilli pecorino, spicy peach relish + tomato
We will be Nelly-less for 2 weeks so I become the sous. It’s been super busy this morning between prepping and making sandwiches. I’ve gone into robot mode. This being said, I don’t have the time for a quick quip this morning. I will probably have to start thinking about the blog ahead of time. Rather than just word vomiting the thought in my head when my hands touch the keyboard.
Salads:
Peri peri cauliflower + split peas
Roast pepper rice
Sausage + ham pasta
Mushroom salad with croutons + cheese dressing
Sandwich: Pulled pork, Kimchi slaw + sriracha mayo
I made myself an Italian hot chocolate this morning and ate it with a spoon because she was thicc. I can’t say I’m very present on this Friday, I’m just a body in the room, a character in the background. I want to be, at least today I do, but that seems like an impossible dream.
Salads:
Mild vegetable curry
Rainbow rice
Roast pepper + tomato pasta
Sandwich: Garlic salami, Brie, Jalapeno relish + tomato
I have suffered a heavy case of ‘all the days fading into one’ this morning. I could have sworn I wrote the menu and expressed feelings, exposed some of the creepy corners of my mind that would be best kept to myself but alas the blog was blank. I got lost in explicit my DMs and heavy hitting discussion with my general public. And there was a little bit of puss too…
Salads:
Thai coconut curry
Lemon + herb rice
Cauliflower + pumpkin seed pasta
Chicken, Chive + potato braise